Here's the germination of a full panel strip I'm dwelling over, which I'm certain some of you will consider as a serious subject and not to be toyed with or ridiculed about. I must've been about nine or ten when I would fantasize being tied up by a beautiful girl. It would seem that I always had this attraction to older girls and my friends and I would constantly get into pranks resulting in being chased by the older kids.
Since we aren't kids anymore, let's take a closer look at what becomes of the young lad who obsesses over what he cannot have.
EXT. BAR - NIGHT
We find ourselves on Santa Monica Blvd, in front of The Palms Bar. Pete has a digital camera pointed at himself, and a digital recorder in the other hand being held to his mouth as he addresses his "audience".
I'm here in front of The Palms Bar in West Hollywood (or someplace like it) where I hope to bump into one of my favorite performers, Joan Jett.
A tad unworldly, the unsuspecting Pete doesn't expect anything less than being ignored by the swarms of uninterested woman and allowed to drink in peace while he dreams of Joan paying a visit to this popular night spot for homosexuals.
Unlike what you might expect a drink at a club featuring the Village People might be like, I'm here only to compare service quality and ambience. I fucking swear. I'm being sincere.
Pete props the camera up against one of the newspaper dispensers.
I'm not here to flirt or try to pick-up on women who might have other game mind. I swear to god I only want to have a drink at the bar and be left with my fantasy of meeting Joan Jett in a place she might solicit on any normal day. And, as you and I both know, that's never going to happen, it doesn't matter because I am already attached to somebody I would never dream of being unfaithful to.
PETE flashes his ring finger to the camera in a way that might be confused with somebody flipping you off.
As we enter through the door, Pete somehow manages to give a glimpse back over his shoulder to say (to the camera)…
I mean it when I say I love my woman and would never think of having meaningless sex with a club rat
INT. BAR - NIGHT
Too much commotion going on for anybody to notice a MAN in the building. However, some of the solo–tagging–along–girls at the bar notice, and right away a vein of dirt is whispered into motion.
Hi, what can I do you for?
Five bucks. No, no, no. Just kidding. Can I have a beer?
As Pete waits for his beer, he turns his back to the bar and scopes out the place. He turns to somebody seemingly drinking alone
This place is bananas, huh?
Most of the dancing has ceased while a group of the most hottest babes gather around Pete as though he were the most interesting, funny guy to be around.
INT. BAR'S STORAGE ROOM - NIGHT
A line of girls wait in a line at the door to the back room. Inside the room can be heard passionate moans and groans as the women have their way with Pete.
One of the girl sees the camera and picks it up.
Ooh, I know what I'm going to do with this
No no, don't touch that, I have important stuff on there and I'm low on memory.
The girl then proceeds, in the nude, to check the pictures in the camera.
Hey! you're married?!?
I think that's horrible. WTF are you doing here, then.
I… I dunno. How did I get here? OMG? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?
EXT. STREET - NIGHT
After the bar closes, Pete is seen walking home with the camera strapped around his neck.
I feel so used.
Next week stay tuned for Pete's visit to the doctor for an STD blood test.