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Fri, Dec. 21st, 2007 | 05:34 pm  slavezombie


Street vendors
slavezombie
So after breakfast yesterday, I decide to stop by the Glendale Galleria to see if they have what I saw on line in terms of flannel lined carpenter jeans for my dad who had his jeans cut to smithereens after the accident that fractured his leg. As I walk down the mall toward Eddie Bauer's, a young lass hails me down by waiving and exclaiming

          VENDOR
Excuse me. Excuse me. (PAUSE) Can I show you something? Have you ever heard of the Dead Sea Scroll?

          ME
Yes
She has me hold my hand out like she's going to tell me my fortune and pours a small amount of salts on my palm.

          VENDOR
How does that feel?
Next she sprays my hand with a spray bottle filled with what I guess is plain water.

          VENDOR
Now wash your hands like you would with soap

          ME
Okay. Is this going to screw up my silver?

          VENDOR
No, that's okay. Now, do your hands feel different?

          ME
Wet

          VENDER
No, no. Doe they feel oily now?

          ME
Oh yeah. Oily. Right. Thanks for showing me that

I go on my merry way.

          VENDOR
Hey! What happened to you?!!
Was this a woman who selected me out of all those x-mas shoppers because she thought she could sell me some junk which, it's my experience, those little vendor posts push on people? Or was she hitting on me and, like a dude might say after a woman responds to his approach with "Get a life" or "Drop dead" or "Get lost" or "Go fuck your mother", gets over the rejection by making a scene that might appear like I'm some jaded birthday boy trying to exchange my duck for free, caring sex. What's the difference between a vendor like Premium Skin Care compared to the fruit stands, taco stands, paleta men, tamale vendors, churro vendors that a police cruisers can chase those guys away but nobody ever sees a cop closing down those mall rat vendors?
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Comments {2}

aquariann

webſite

from: aquariann
date: Sat, Dec. 22, 2007 12:55 am (UTC)
Link

Ack! Avoid eye contact at all cost! That's what I do when walking through the mall around Christmas with all the crazy middle vendors.

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