Bier de Stone (slavezombie) wrote,
Bier de Stone
slavezombie

t.b.a.

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trust

The opening office scene is boring. Remember when you yearned to find an office job? Did you expect it would be as boring?

Bier has worked at his job in the library so long, he feels he can do it blindfolded. One of the perks of being such a veteran is that he can multi task. He's gotten so good at doing this that he no longer sees himself as a simple library employee. He sees himself as somebody who works in a small facet of the publishing industry. This interpretation of his clerical job at the library has proved beneficial in obtaining freelance assignments in the field of investigative reporting where he lures clients interested in advertising in major local newspapers.

Get some action in here. Ex: circulation desk duties can be a drag, and what does Bier do to prepare for this? He makes sure he empties his bladder so that he doesn't have to abandon his post and leave customers waiting. He also brushes his teeth if his time for public relations at the library is after noon when he's eaten a powerfully strong in onions and garlic lunch. He'll also dabble some cologne, as he cringes at the though of working up a sweat and not being given a chance to get cleaned up before he has to face the public, something that traumatized him back in junior high when he refused taking showers after his PE class even though it was in his first couple periods when the sun wasn't strong enough to build a sweat.

FLASHBACK: wearing briefs underneath boxers so the bullies in the class going around pantsing the students (pulling their shorts down revealing their underwear, or nothing at all) wouldn't be entirely humiliating.

Circulation desk time is never a dull moment with some of the characters that come into the library. One can call it Public Relations, or even public service, but if you work like Bier, constantly gathering info for the benefit of his e-zine, then the perks of holding such a position would be beneficial to his cause. While Bier converses with Donna, a fly lands on his face. This provokes a side of Bier Donna has yet to see.

SFX: CELL PHONE RINGING

BIER

It seems when I try to sign their documents, I fuck up and have to throw it away and try again. As a result of fucking up their precious original document, I try to sign a second time, on an untampered copy of the original print out, as opposed to a copy of a form containing a xeroxed signature. Considering that the signature I penned on the paper is not a copy, I naturally submit the document as though it were an original, but I'm told by supervisors that there might be repercussions to pay as a result of this behavior.

LEGAL ADVISOR

So what are you seeking from me?

BIER

How do I ask the powers that be to send me another copy of their original documentation printed on un re cycled paper so that I don't keep fucking up their original?

LEGAL ADVISOR

I don't seem to understand.

BIER

Maybe I should start from the beginning. When I signed the document, I discovered that the ink I was using bled into the fibers of the paper and made my signature illegible. I then discarded that one, and having made a spare copy, decided to try again. I didn't think there would be any harm in doing that because it's my experience that the definition of a copy against an originally signed document is the manner in which the application of ink to paper is performed.

LEGAL ADVISOR

Okay. You say you're with the city, right? I'm assuming you are aware that the mayor has been taking measures to bring various departments like the one you work in under scrutiny of cut backs.

BIER

That's exactly the reason I am attempting to obtain advise on the matter. I'm not fooling around trying to give somebody a hard time. In a nutshell, I'm expected to confirm information by applying my signature. I decided to do that on the original document the way I know how considering I'm not one hundred percent certain about the dates. That' didn't work out because of the bleeding. When I took pen to paper on the second try, the paper accepted the ink so beautifully, I decided to take their word for it; concerning the dates of employment I'm being asked to confirm.

LEGAL ADVISOR

So just ask them for another copy. Forget about getting it printed on prime stock paper. Remember the budget cuts! Use a ballpoint.

BIER

Fine. I will. But I want to make certain you understand my predicament. If I must use a ballpoint, I won't confirm the dates they way it seems they would like me to do; at least as far as I can understand the attached instructions and abusive verbal explanation.

LEGAL ADVISOR: Why do you say that?

BIER

I feel like I'm being forced to sign my name like a little boy would be taught to sign a library card with their parent's help by guiding their hand.

LEGAL ADVISOR

Get over that. If you want to keep your job, I would advise that you follow instructions and not stray from the norm.

BIER

That's another thing. I feel that I'm being ridiculed by the eccentricity of my signature.

LEGAL ADVISOR

What's so eccentric about it?

BIER

I normally sign with a fountain pen, or the equivalent of a quill pen.

LEGAL ADVISOR

Like I said, use a ballpoint. Then, if you are later presented with the document you've signed, for whatever reason, you can deny ever having signed it because, as you say, you normally make your mark with a fountain pen which is easily distinguishable from a ballpoint.

Then what happens when he sees his boss come in, he gets called up to the main administration desk. Like graffiti can be problematic in a library and the teens can be pests, Bier must figure out how to catch a picture of the taggers when it's illegal to take photographs of minors.

RELATIVE POINT: Teens abuse the publications' classified section in many ways that effect the company. Reception always complains about wrong numbers in ads and misdirected numbers.

The fly returns and Bier takes the opportunity to leave the room in hopes it will find something to spend it's time bugging. Just before getting off his chair, he curses at the fly under his breath (in a whisper) and co-workers in adjacent cubicles stick their head out to see what the fuss is about.

At first, while speaking to Donna, only a few heads discreetly pop up. A fly has been pestering Bier at his cubical and from time to time, while talking with Donna, an obscenity will escape his lips. It is as though a demon has entered Bier. He swipes at fly.

BIER

Goddamn it.

(PAUSE)

Son of a bitch.

(PAUSE)

Fucking ay.

(PAUSE)

Goddamn, mother fucker. You can't just leave me alone.

Just before exiting thru the door, Bier looks back and says

BIER

What?! it's too quiet in here. Put on some music. How can you stand it. All the silenceÉ?

Estrangement from his fellow co-workers acknowledge his remark. Only one of the the employees holds up iPod and ear plugs, which nobody notices anyway. An oddity, since he couldn't have heard the cursing coming from Bier had he been listening to his tunes.
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