December 3rd, 2008

screenwriter, Kightlinger, hate

The "Man" rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally, the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules' From the female side ...Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note These are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials…

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched…
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or FISHING

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.

Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
… got from LPs FWD mail.

DTV new PPV agreement

Those of your who have had DirecTV for more than a couple years now may have noticed a slight change in their policy toward pay per view movies. I haven't purchased any $3.99 all day tickets for awhile now, and I was curious about some of the movie listings on channels 176 thru 199. Most of the other channels have single movie titles playing continuously back-to-back; so, an all day ticket on one of these channels would buy you non-stop repetiveness of the film until your all day ticket expires. It's always been this way with the exception of one slight difference.

I would say, about a year ago, you could buy a PPV all day ticket and save it on TiVo and have there until your TiVo box needed more memory and deleted the recording to compensate for needed memory, or you could set the option to hold on to the film indefinitely, until somebody manually deleted it. That's not the case anymore. Any all day ticket purchased on DirecTV will expire after a couple days of purchase. So I'm in a quandary about the PPV channels that list multiple movie titles, instead of a single movie, kind of like a variety pack. This is how I remember PPV functioning. If two or more movie titles appeared on the channel listing, you could buy an all day ticket and tune into that channel within a 24 hour period, and for $3.99 you would receive the movies listed. NOT. Today, you buy a PPV on the higher channels (176-199) and if the listings show a break between showings with another movie title, consumers must wait until the next showing time to watch the film again. Of course, with TiVo, if you record it, there is no wait. But my concern yesterday, when I gave DTV a call, was why is the price for an all day ticket the same for a movie that only replays three or four times in a 24 hour period from an all day ticket for a film that replays continuously back-to-back?

At first the DTV operator tried to explain to me that my purchase would indeed play back to back. She also said that her computer screen didn't show the same movie title listings that I was seeing on my channel listings. After only about ten minutes of trying to understand this concept, she discreetly disconnected the call.

My next DTV operator gave me an address to write to:

DirecTV, Inc.
Pay Per View disputes
PO BOX 6550
Greenwood Village, CO 80155-6550

She also said, because she understood what I was trying to explain to her, she would issue me a $10 credit for my troubles. I said great! This time I wasn't cut off. I used my credit to try to relearn this PPV feature on my TiVo by purchasing War, Inc. I manually set my TiVo to record the time slight immediately after the showing of War, Inc., which was for the film The counterfeiters, but, after checking to see if my TiVo received the film (I had taken these measures yesterday when the movie listings were for early birds who like to watch flicks at 4:00AM). Anyway, the TiVo dubbed the first 11 minutes of The counterfeiters, and then quit.

I had already seen the movie War, Inc. and I felt just as I thought, gypped. However, I had liked this film the first time, I decided long ago that, when it became available on cable, I would watch it and download and burn myself a DVD. I've got to watch this film again until I'm familiar with who all are the characters in the plot. An e-mail flashes before the screen for a scene in the second act. It reads like this:


I'll be in room 101 in the Freedom Grand before the wedding ceremony begins. No body guards. Just you cowboy.
I'm having an episode of vanity. I think this movie has clips about me. There's a song in there somewhere.