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Sun, Sep. 14th, 2008 | 11:32 pm  slavezombie

A sneeze is just a sneeze

The other day, I overheard a sneeze on the news. We all pretty much know already about my obsessive nature toward the news anchor Ana Garcia. Nothing, it seemed, effectively convinced me to stop sneezing in Japanese. They say a yawn is contagious. I've said that swearing is contagious. We all know sneezing is contagious, and I started out sneezing loud when my older sister sneezed with a yelp. Back then, I'll admit, I sounded feminine. Then my voice lowered and I could honestly pass for a Japanese sneezer. If my Dad happened to be within hearing distance, instead of a simple "bless you", he'd say, in Spanish, [translated roughly] "Why can't you fucking sneeze like normal people?!" And, of course, if my mother heard the displeasure of my father, she would then follow suit and whenever I sneezed Japanese, she's say "Shut the fuck up!" [translated roughly] It took the unintentional O.S. sneeze of Ana Garcia, on air, to bring me back my ol` boring, regular people sneeze. God I miss Japanese. The end.

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