Bier de Stone (slavezombie) wrote,
Bier de Stone
slavezombie

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My license plate: LIFER

    The other night I was doing searches for information on showbiz people because I simply cannot get enough info on the happenings of certain TV personalities and political journalists. I found something dating back to 2004. It is a newsletter about the Pasadena Audubon Society. In it is an interview by Ron Cyger who quotes his subject, one of my favorite newscasters on NBC4, about recreation and what she does for fun. I find myself reading it over several times. Her life has serious attachments in San Francisco, a place where Ana Brito also knew fairly well. It drives me nuts not knowing if Ana Garcia is using a married name, and this emptiness inspires me to practice those solos on my guitar that I've been putting off for several weeks now. The re-learning process is a drag, though I never really learned the solos in the first place.
    I'm playing my guitar and increasing my speed for the first solo of MEAN MAN. It just doesn't sound right and I'm getting frustrated so much so that I don't feel how badly my fingertips are blistering. I must've practice at least 30 minutes and decided to call it quits. Of all the blisters I ever developed this way, this is the first time that I felt like popping one. Now I have a big gaping hole on my third finger which is going to put guitar practice on hiatus for a good two weeks. I see a friend and we begin to chat. I feel the need to show & tell my small booboo of an injury and she asks me what I think she should do about it. I ask for a kiss.
    I never would've guessed asking for a kiss would be so effective. Yesterday I had dinner with a friend and we talked our jaws off. We seem to have mutual feelings for one another and before the night was over, we sealed our friendship with a kiss. It was romantic, but about as private as it ever gets in urban life Burbank. I'm happy to have been given the opportunity to express some things about myself with her that will become pieces of the puzzle that serve to govern my ideals. I consider myself a complicated person because I don't even understand some of the things I do, but last night has opened my eyes to everything I have been missing these past few moments in life. I feel a little guilty because I've stopped myself short of telling her the way I feel about her (as a result of my psychosis). So in the end, despite all that's said and done, it's back to business.
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