Life`s too short to read everything that seems worthwhile. I don't mean that in a bad way. I just read slow. Somebody once asked me which three books would I want to take with me if I was ever stranded on a deserted island. I remember saying Dante's infernal, I probably had Truman Capote's In cold blood in the back of my mind, and "the bible", as if I was going to need it to convert the plants and animals to my religion. I just can't think under pressure.
I want to start logging in some of the events of my past here. I don't want to bore anyone to sleep, though. I've been trying to browse the message boards for the imdb site on AAC, but there's quite a few crazies in there who post stuff about re-incarnation, to stuff about one of the Baniszewski daughters walking into a church to ask forgiveness. I don't know the store behind the August scheduled release of CK's new film, but because my world revolves around Ana, all I can help think about is the nickname she would use to call her brother. Gertrude, played by CK in the film. Then there was her best friend Sylvia, the victim in the movie. All the other characters are meaningless.
My boss has put together an all girls basketball team. They meet after work at the local rec center to practice. Back in high school, during lunch, I remember seeing Ana and she coaxed me into a game of b-ball. I hadn't played for a long time and it showed. That, and the times we cut class to drive up to the park and be together are some of the few memories I have. So much time has passed since then and I look at myself in the mirror, then at a photo; I see the numbers on the weight scale, then try to fit into some old clothes; I sit myself down to contemplate on my mixed emotions of those days compared to those same feelings when only five years transpired. You see, when we parted ways, I had said to Ana "No matter what, we'll go to Disneyland in five years." That was stupid as hell. That's why I don't like remembering those days. We never saw each other after that, or if we did, we didn't recognize each other, or if we did, we couldn't cope with the changes. I knock myself in the head when I daydream about her. I may dream her up as one of the customers and watch her leave without any attempt on my part to ask "Do I know you from somewhere?" So, that's the best I could do with today's doodle. Perhaps that's me symbolically lashing at myself.