Bier de Stone (slavezombie) wrote,
Bier de Stone
slavezombie

That which will never go between the camera and the monitors time travels



INT. LIVING ROOM - night

MOLLY and BIERDE are working overtime together. The view from the apartment wide window is mostly tree branches from the second floor, and beyond that, on the horizon, a row of houses stacked atop each other like a row of chairs in a theater house gradually line up behind each other on an incline. As MOLLY loses herself in the view, she lights a joint.

MOLLY
his is much more relaxing.


BIERDE looks up to meet her comment while he surfs the Internet on his laptop for news he can use from the associated press site.

BIERDE
Can you turn the fan on? Please. The landlords don't like it when they smell pot.

MOLLY
Well DEIRDRE is the same way. Why do you think…


MOLLY crosses the room to scrutinize the buttons of a portable cooling unit.

MOLLY (CONT'D)
How does this work — uh, I feel chill.


BIERDE surreptitiously rolls his eyes at MOLLY.

BIERDE
The on button is second from the right. Can I get a hit of that?


MOLLY takes a giant drag and gleefully prances towards BIERDE to hand him the joint. His hand, swollen from a ganglion cysts on his wrist, reaches for the joint.

BIERDE (CONT'D)
When I started at RS, I was so stressed. DEIRDRE's cool, though. I'm sure her landlord doesn't like people smoking around the property either.

MOLLY
Why were you stressed?

BIERDE
My typing speed. I mean, I was fast on a typewriter but when computers replaced my old manual typewriter, I couldn't figure out how to customize the qwerty board to match the keyboard on my typewriter.

MOLLY
Should've GOOGLED it.


BIERDE pulls open a file cabinet to search for a file containing web instructions on how to tackle reprograming computer keyboards. At the top of the page, BIERDE's name appears as a header, next to the page number. He hands it to her.

BIERDE
Been there.


Bierde hands back the joint and leans back on the sofa to enjoy the rush. molly takes the document and the joint back to the window.

BIERDE
Make sure the neighbors don't see you smoking.


MOLLY frowns but abides. On the window sill, a fly spins in circles upside-down as it attempts lift off

MOLLY
Chuang Tzu in dream became a butterfly, And the butterfly became Chuang Tzu at waking.


Molly pronounces 'waking' with a "y" at the end: wakes.

BIERDE
Huh?

MOLLY
Which was the real — the butterfly or the man?


EXT. STREET - NIGHT

A Volkswagen pulls out of the driveway. The driver glances at the window and waives a hand at MOLLY from inside unaware that her tinted windows shadows the gesture.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

MOLLY separates herself from the dying fly on the windowsill in disgust as she continues watching the car, sneaking hits from the joint as discreetly as possible.

MOLLY
It's a poem. Your neighbor is leaving.

BIERDE
So.

MOLLY
So… it's kind of like the butterfly effect — I dunno if you've seen that movie — but it leans more toward parallel universes; or rather alternate realities.

BIERDE
Wow. That's kind of right up there with time travel and how flies can dodge my finger flicking at it, which by the way I GOOGLED as found out that the average speed of a flicking finger is 30 miles per hour.

MOLLY
So you never smoked with DEIRDRE?

BIERDE
Nope. I'm sure she smokes, but she doesn't do that with co-workers.

MOLLY
Why? We're co-workers

BIERDE
Dude, you're asking the wrong person.


MOLLY lip synchs the last few bars of the song in the background "… to slave for me eternally"

MOLLY
Can we change the music?


BIERDE meets MOLLY's eye nodding approvingly.

MOLLY (CONT'D)
Hey, have you ever noticed that Space Mountain is like being a fly and flying around in the dark?

BIERDE
You mean DISNEYLAND space mountain?


MOLLY nods, stoned look on her face, and appears to be trying to conjure up what she's forgotten she wanted to say. She hands BIERDE the half-smoked roach, now snuffed out from the lack of activity trying to keep it lit by hitting it.

BIERDE (CONT'D)
Maybe. But I think it's weird how the long line to get into that ride slopes sideways.


MOLLY is now lost.

BIERDE (CONT'D)
Yeah, you know.


BIERDE struggles to keep his train of thought

BIERDE (CONT'D)
There's a portion of the line when it seems like you're finally entering the building, but really, it's just the veranda. And, near the ledge, it looks like it's parallel to the ground, but it feels like you're leaning on one side of your leg more than the other. I just remember it triggers my sciatica.

MOLLY
h, I didn't know you have sciatica. Good reason to be smoking this stuff.


MOLLY offers BIERDE a light.

BIERDE
Have you ever seen SMILEY FACE?

MOLLY
No. What's that?

BIERDE
A movie. Anna Faris is in it.

MOLLY
What's it about.

BIERDE
It's a stoner movie, like Cheech and Chong.

MOLLY
Harold and Kumar?

BIERDE
Yeah! It's funny. Did you know you can't get that on on-demand yet. And a new copy of the DVD runs about eighty bucks.

MOLLY
Whoa. Why's it so expensive? It can't be that good.

BIERDE
Dunno.

MOLLY
Do you know what ever happened to that lady that started working here a couple months ago?

BIERDE
Who? ELLE?


INT. CAR - NIGHT

A small sports car, driven by ELLE, travels alongside the L.A. River.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

MOLLY
Why do you spell your name like that?

BIERDE
Like how?

MOLLY
Well, if my name was pronounced BIRDY, I'd probably spell it like that to dispel confusion.

BIERDE
My name doesn't have to be pronounced BIRDY. Originally, I spelled my name B-I-E-R. Like German beer. And it was pronounced like beer too.

MOLLY
Why'd you change it?

BIERDE
The computer age doesn't always honor the bits and pieces of a full name. It's FIRST and LAST name; and sometimes suffixes.

MOLLY
People give you smack for having a first name like beer?

BIERDE
Yeh. You know it's just a variation of Pierre, right? And Pierre is the French version of Peter?

MOLLY
Yeah.

BIERDE
Because my last name has a preposition, it isn't part of the name. I added it to the end of my first name so the letter "d" wouldn't be capitalized.

MOLLY
Oh, like de GUZMAN, or de Jesus. I get it. That way the system doesn't capitalize the letter D and combine your last name with Jesus which would in turn result in the spelling of Jesus with a small letter J.


BIERDE is mesmerize how accurate MOLLY can be.

BIERDE
I told you this story before, haven't I?

MOLLY
Yeah, but we weren't high. I tend to remember stuff better when I'm high.

BIERDE
Is that a school thing?


MOLLY grins.

MOLLY
If you changed your computer name to BIERDE, the command prompt would resemble DEIRDRE's name on her puter whenever she used command prompt. Or Terminal.
Tags: evil otto, hs93, index card, typography
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

  • 0 comments